Struggling with Identity
Have you ever questioned:
Who you are?
What you are?
What’s your purpose?
What are you doing with your life?
Do you belong here?
Do you fit in?
These are fundamental questions related to identity struggles. For the LGBTQ community these struggles are more prominent.
Identity and Trans Issues
It is easy to recognize identity issues with Trans issues because they are directly related to gender identity. The struggle can arise both from how others perceive and react to your identity, and your own reconciliation with it. When others question the legitimacy of who you say you are, your own insecurities can get triggered about your own life choices. Although “choice” can be a loaded word in this context, it is always made in the specific situation in which we find ourselves. Our context—comprising our situation, bodies, socio-economic status, family, and culture—shapes these choices. For a trans person, expressing their femaleness, or maleness involves myriad decisions about appearance, behavior, and self-presentation, which are scrutinized more intensely than if they had been assigned the gender they now identify with at birth. Every human is in a constant process of making those choices, on a gut level, in every moment. They are also perpetually aware that the choices made are being exponentially more closely watched than if they identified with their assigned gender. So, like all people they are in a constant process of deciding who they are, and how to be themselves; just under a much more powerful microscope.
Broader LGBTQ Identity Struggles
Gender identity struggles are not just struggles about gender, but are struggles with the whole spectrum of identity. Lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals have their own struggles with identity. For instance, coming out as lesbian, gay, or bisexual is an identity struggle., “Can I be the person that loves someone of the same gender, or both genders?”. The question, “Can I be the person who loves someone of the same gender or both genders?” is not a one-time inquiry but an ongoing process. LGBTQ individuals must continually navigate their level of openness and to whom they disclose their identities. In any given moment we choose how out we are and who we are. This is true for everyone.
The Role of External Perception
For all LGBTQ identified people, how those around us react to how we identify, in a profound way, defines the situation we are in, and that situation greatly influences how we choose to be in the world. It is the amplification of the gaze of the other, for all oppressed minorities that can lead to increased struggles with identities. It is true for everybody that the situation we are in now, also the situation of our formative years greatly influences who and what we make ourselves to be.
Identity as a Dynamic Process
It is important to recognize that identity is a verb, not a noun. As Jean-Paul Sartre stated, we are what we make ourselves to be. Viewing identity as fluid and ever-changing highlights the potential for transformation. Unlike a fixed noun, a verb represents motion and freedom. We are always becoming; anything we are is already in the past. Identity, when seen as a commitment to a static self-image, negates spontaneity in favor of safety and predictability. When held lightly, identity becomes an improvisational expression of creativity.
Formulating Identity under External Gaze
I formulate who I make myself to be under the gaze of the other (those that are not me) from the moment I enter this world, and if I perceive that gaze, rightly or wrongly to have an agenda of who I ought to be or should not be, then it stand to reason that being under a gaze that appears to me, rightly or wrongly, as having no agenda in regards to who I should or shouldn’t be, would create a situation that I would find conducive to letting go of identities that interfere with having a joyful existence and adopting identities that lead to having a joyful existence. And hopefully, this process can lead to the recognition that I am playing who I make myself to be and can choose to hold that identity lightly and let go of seriousness and stuckness.
In conclusion, identity struggles are an integral part of the human experience, especially any part of the population that is othered by the dominant groups. Recognizing identity as a dynamic and evolving process allows for greater self-understanding and acceptance. By holding our identities lightly and embracing the continuous process of becoming, we can foster a more joyful and authentic existence.